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GMail, you have failed me - Blather, Rinse, Repeat
June 24th, 2006
05:40 pm

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GMail, you have failed me
Not in any important way, to be sure.

At the top of my GMail page, they show me links to news stories. It's, of course, data-mininged-Karpov-chained-Bayesian-filtered-telepathically-magicked up show me only stuff I'm interested in, which always amuses me when I go to the "spam" folder, and it offers me canned-meat-product recipes.

The link up there now says: "Is ETL Becoming Obsolete?" Goodness, I really don't know. English as a Third Language? Extremely Thin Lohans? EuroTrash Loungemusik? It'd be a shame if ETL went and became obsolete before I got a chance to use the acronym in casual conversation. "Oh, I ETLed some of my SMP data, but the QRT server lost one of the XYZZY packets, so everything's FUBAR."

Needless to say, I was curious. Cause I'm a geek, and it's hot out, and I don't really have energy to do anything better right now than click on random links.

The page the link takes me to says the following:


White Paper Request:
Is ETL Becoming Obsolete?


This white paper discusses the key issues with ETL tools today, and how an E-LT architecture combined with a business-rules-driven approach is better:


  • E-LT eliminates the need for dedicated ETL servers, and instead, leverages the power of the target RDBMS engine to perform compute-intensive transformations.
  • Business-rules-driven development enables developers to describe end-to-end transformation and data quality rules in terms that are the most intuitive and easiest to maintain. The net result is better developer productivity, better performance and lower costs.


Thank you for your request. Please complete the form below and the document you requested will be emailed to you.

The fields marked "*" are mandatory.



You know what? Mandatory, my Aunt Fanny. I consider them optional in the sense of "I have the option not to read your sales brochure". Now, I know I'm not the target audience for this white paper because I only recognize one buzzword in five in that synopsis, but still - if you're trying to win my business, put the information out where I can see it, so I can decide if maybe your E-LT architecture can suit my business' needs. I'm a busy business owner (honestly, I am), and if your competitor is going to tell me about their product without me having to give you my telephone number and blood type, I'm certainly going to investigate their product first.


And really, GMail - shame on you. If you're so sure this is a good match for your model of my interests, at least let me know why. Amazon's been doing that for quite a while: "We're recommending 'How to Build Bombs in Your Spare Time' because you bought 'The Anarchist's Cookbook', 'What's Wrong With the Government', and 'James Beard Makes Chinese Appetizers'. Also, your purchasing profile has been forwarded to the NSA as a courtesy to you."

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Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:rechercher
Date:June 25th, 2006 12:46 pm (UTC)
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LOL. I really don't have any good comments (dang it!), but I thought that was very funny.
[User Picture]
From:tsmaster
Date:July 1st, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
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