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Dateline Bangor, Maine: There is a $50 fine for adults who smoke in… - Blather, Rinse, Repeat
January 18th, 2007
08:55 am

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Dateline Bangor, Maine: There is a $50 fine for adults who smoke in cars with children.

Part of the thinking here makes sense to me; we recognize tobacco use as a health problem, and we take incremental measures to protect people (in this case, children, who have no control over who drives them around) from second-hand smoke. The thing that troubles me is that this isn't being presented as a law they're serious about enforcing, it's a means to "educate" the public.

Really, guys? Is a cop pulling a person over the most effective form of education these days? I'm sure that public service announcements on TV don't do anything, but there's got to be a better way to get information out.


So that got me thinking. Let's say that a $50 is a good way to educate people about certain facts. Here's my suggestions for Bangor's next 10 laws on their "curriculum":


  1. Eat 5 servings of vegetables a day.
  2. It's pronounced noo-clee-ur.
  3. I before E, except after C, except when sounding like A, as in "neighbor" and "weigh".
  4. When dividing fractions, invert the one on the bottom and multiply.
  5. "Lose" is a verb, "loose" is an adjective. "Loose" can also be a verb, but you probably mean "Lose".
  6. The planets, in order, are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and maybe Pluto.
  7. "Literally" is not a synonym for "Figuratively" and will not be used as a means to emphasize an exaggeration.
  8. Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November.
  9. Wash your hands afterwards.
  10. Treat others with respect.


Now, I know the city of Bangor doesn't have the resources to enforce these laws, but they seem to be good points of education. And, hey, if they did manage to collect $50 for minor infractions, they might be able to fund an apostrophe abuse response team.

Now it's your turn: using the bully pulpit of police enforcement, what else should the public be educated on?

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
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From:piehead
Date:January 18th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
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The benefits of abstinence-only sex education.
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From:wendywoowho
Date:January 18th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
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Affect is a verb, effect is a noun. Learn the difference, and stop using "impact" as a verb.
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From:tsmaster
Date:January 18th, 2007 11:54 pm (UTC)
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I can tell from your affect that you would like to effect changes in people's lexicography.

I was considering adding in "affect" has to do with emotion and "effect" has to do with causality, but I had already used up my grammar gripe budget for this post.
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From:keelamonster
Date:January 18th, 2007 08:18 pm (UTC)
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By the way, "apostrophe abuse response team" is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

And I'd like to see them establish the Commissioner of Than. And the commissioner will be a different person from the Director of Then.
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From:tsmaster
Date:January 18th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
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And only 100 pounds to go before I can run for the Chancellor of Thin.
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From:strangeanimal
Date:January 19th, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)
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Bangor? I don't even know 'er!

(And yes, I know it's not pronounced that way, in case any other commenters get grammarsnarky.)
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From:avon4miles
Date:January 19th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC)
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Adding to your list:
All sneezing/coughing should be directed into the inner-elbow, not into the hand. Hands are very public, inner-elbows not so much.

"Like" should never be used as an informal conjunction after forms of "be" to introduce reported speech or thought. Example: She's like, "I don't believe it," and I'm like, "No, it's true!"

The waistband of one's clothing should be the same or only very slightly larger size then the waist of the wearer, thus avoiding the "muffin top" appearance seen in malls and Wal-Marts across America.

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From:jessindenver
Date:January 19th, 2007 03:32 pm (UTC)
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First, this is a wonderful post that made me laugh.

Second, I'd like to set up a special task force to handle the problem of holiday decoration overexposure. We need a date by which everyone should take down their holiday decorations (preferably January 2 or earlier). The task force would be, well, tasked with driving around and imposing fines (which would multiply exponentially from the specified date) on anyone who continues to turn their Santa and reindeer display on in February. Seriously, I guess it's fine if you are too lazy to get out there and put stuff away, but unplug it.
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