June 17th, 2005


Witnessed on a bottle of shampoo

Our Finished Product
Not Tested On Animals!

Hm. When one's in the shower, I believe the brain's working slightly differently - less sequentially, hence the frequency of insights that come to you in the shower and nowhere else.

That said, I was looking at the bottle of shampoo today and saw the above message and it bothered me some:

  1. The exclamation point is probably unnecessary.
  2. The finished product, you say? So the ingredients were poured into lab animals' eyes, but the final product is cruelty free? Does that really help? Ok, maybe the ingredients were made by subcontractors or you've got stock around from a less enlightened management regime, but if I'm hung up on the well-being of cute bunnies, isn't it going to be the same degree of cruelty whether it's the finished product or not?
  3. And I still can't get past the "not tested on animals" thing. What, you tested it on rocks? It's been a while since I took biology, but I think that human testing would be very good, so do at least a little testing on that part of the animal kingdom, please.
  4. In that light, the exclamation point is downright sinister. Watch out! We have no idea what this will do if you put it on your head! Especially if you're alive! And an animal! Danger!
  5. The tingling, burning, painful sensation means that it's working.