February 26th, 2006


(no subject)

Open Letters to food purveyors:

To the Makers of Turkey Burger Patties: I bought your turkey patties on the understanding that they would be lower fat than the beef patties that you are clearly trying to emulate. I think we can agree that a lower fat diet would benefit me. If your product is so devoid of taste that I am driven to load it up with condiments, we may not be making progress.

To the Makers of "9 Whole Grain Buns": your packaging is unintentionally (I hope) misleading. I purchased your "9 Whole Grain Buns" product feeling proud that not only was I buying a product that was good for me, I was getting a bonus 12.5% extra food in the bag relative to the other options on the bakery shelf. I looked inside the bag, and could only could 8 buns, but I trusted that you had some gateway to a hidden bun dimension that I could not discern from outside the bag. When I got home and more carefully read the small print, I realized that you do, indeed, claim that there were only "8 count". Perhaps the 9 refers to the number of grains, not the number of buns. But that's certainly not clear. Perhaps you should relabel them "8 buns, made from 9 grains, each of which is whole" or "buns, 8 each. Contents, grains. 9 grains in each of the 8 buns. 72 grainy units of goodness!" although I concede that this may spill over into the transparent portion of the bag, or perhaps onto the next bag over.

Thank you for your attention to these issues.