March 17th, 2006


The cutting of the green

Ha ha, see, it's St. Patrick's day...

But I'm actually pretty psyched, in a sick way. I've had a 96 gallon yard waste container sitting next to my mailbox, and at some point last fall, it was full of grass clippings. And, since I live out in the forgotten wilderness of the county, the waste disposal service decided to stop emptying yard waste containers over the winter. So the container's been sitting there, waiting for service to resume. Last I checked, it was only half full. Could be the action of composting, or it could be those damned unicorns getting into the container. I hear they're pretty clever.

It looks like today's the day that yard waste service has resumed, though - the container's now empty, and I brought it back from curbside (er, where the curb would be if we had curbs out here) for the first time in months. It feels odd - like a missing tooth - not having to pay attention to the container as I back out of my driveway.

Semi-related: I don't take terrific care of my lawnmower (pictured in the icon) - particularly, I don't disconnect the battery, and I don't "stabilize" the gasoline when winter comes around. So, each spring, I try to start the thing, and each spring, I send it in to the shop to get fixed in one way or another. This year, I'm getting a new battery and three new spindles. If spindles are as important as I think they are, it's just as well that it's in at the shop.

I just got the phone call telling me that they'll be able to drop my mower off on Monday - which is actually perfect. I'll be able to do a little bit of mowing as soon as I get it, and fill up the yard waste container again before I head out of town.


(It's a sickness. Send help.)

"Hollandaise message from Bessie Fish" - continuing open correspondence with mouthbreathing spammers

(My dental hygienist recently asked me if I was a mouthbreather. Seems like my gums are tender in the same way as slack-jawed yokels who dehydrate their mouths.)

Just today I received obvious spam with the subject "Hollandaise message from Bessie Fish". On the one hand, I was tantalized by the notion of some sort of sauce over a broiled fillet of salmon. Oh, but 'Bessie' makes me think of cow. Perhaps it's a surf/turf combo; some steak and some salmon. Mmm, sauce over the top, maybe some capers as garnish. I'll have the garlic mashed potatoes and some baby carrots to fill up the plate.

As I opened the spam to read the contents, I saw the following:

Girls going wild on the Farm with monkeys

come see it all.

banned in 163 states

Sure, everybody enjoys seeing women degenerating to a feral state. Probably losing all capacity for language and walking upright. And monkeys, besides? That seems like gilding the lily, because we've already got women that have devolved into a non-human form. Maybe you'd like to consider going a different direction. Here are some suggestions:

  • primitive women on printing presses
  • cheerleaders and gravy
  • schoolgirls with chainsaws

Also, could I get a list of the 163 states in which your site is banned? I'm sure that, if nothing else, this could be the subject of interesting cocktail discussions with geography teachers I might chance to meet.

Are the girls with the monkeys preparing the fish with hollandaise sauce? I'm hungry, and the email wasn't particularly clear.

Thank you for your attention to these matters.

Now Playing

  • New Toy - as pictured in the icon. Woo - it's got enough room for all the music I want to listen to from my library, a handful of music videos downloaded from iTunes. And I still have about 50% of the device empty.
  • Beatles, Shakespeare, Computer Games - I know I've pointed at this site before, but I figure it's worth doing again. Brian "Professor" Moriarty was part of Infocom back in the day. (Remember adventure games? Remember TEXT adventure games?) Several of the essays were presented at the Game Developers' Conference - but I find the essays engaging in a way that ought to be approachable by anybody.
  • Rush Hour - I recall a moment, driving to high school, hearing "Rush Hour" by Jane Wiedlin on KPLZ. Bubblegum pop bouncy fun. Flipping channels not long ago, I saw the video on VH-1. It's interesting how moments separated by time can be stitched together by music. I found a copy of the CD on Amazon, so I'll be able to wallow in Go-Go spinoff riffs at my leisure.