Since then, I've switched into the first person. Also, I sent email back to Lulu, asking for any help they could provide, which has been met with no response. I went through the PDF generation process again, including adjusting some distillation parameters. Lulu and Adobe seem to revel in bizarre and underdocumented interfaces. Perhaps when documents fall through the cracks, they split the profits.
So, I uploaded YET ANOTHER edition of the book to Lulu, and have ordered YET ANOTHER copy for myself to review. Because the table holding up the previous editions hasn't broken under the weight yet.
HOWEVER, I seem to have stolen John Hodgeman's punctuation style, which ROCKS. Also, in the HOWEVER category is the following listing:
Hopefully in six to eight weeks, the book will actually be available. Maybe less. Mid June. That'd be a nice birthday gift for me, a book I already wrote, and have several copies of.